Hello!

Y'know how sometimes you have a friend, and then you have a bit of a falling out, and then your friend threatens to cancel all of your government contracts, so you accuse your friend of being in the Epstein files? Yeah, me either. But friendship is hard.

I always feel a little weird about this, even though no one has ever given me a hard time about it, but I think all personal relationships are projects. I've heard people sometimes say, "A good relationship shouldn't be hard work," but obviously it should be. I mean, not bad work. It shouldn’t feel like digging a ditch in the rain, but like tending a garden. The whole process is gratifying, even if it is sometimes muddy and your ankles hurt afterward.

I think, as adults, we think back to friendship as the inevitable and effortless joinings of childhood. Watching my son play with his friend all day in the early summer is a delight. Never for a moment do those kids think that their friendship is a project. They're spraying each other with hoses and mixing up a mud bucket, not /networking/ or something soulless like that. But the structure of our lives these days means that whatever we don't prioritize doesn't happen. So, friendship has to be on the list, and there's gonna be some work that isn't pure delight. Sometimes it takes work to get through a hard spot. John and I disagree on LOTS, which we were reminded of while recording Dear Hank and John today.

But the more time I spend in the world, the more I'm convinced that most of what’s good comes from people choosing to keep showing up for each other, even when it's weird, or hard, or imperfect.

Of course, some friendships aren't meant to last. But without effort, no friendships will last.

Hank

You can always email us at [email protected]

This Week in Stuff

• John was a guest on the Masters of Scale podcast. (YouTube)

• Trolls have taken over a park in Wisconsin! (TikTok) You can find out if there are any trolls near you at trollmap.com.

• Hank posted the 2025 Project for Awesome recap video! (YouTube)

• Cole Young was called up to the MLB and helped the Seattle Mariners win his debut game, all within 24 hours. (YouTube)

• A dalmatian celebrated Pride by playing a game of keep away. (TikTok)

Please send us stuff you think we should feature to [email protected]

Young Americans spend much more time alone than they did fifteen years ago

Bastian Herre and Tuna Acisu

Young Americans spend much more time alone than they did in the past. According to data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey, people aged 15–29 spent about 45% more time alone in 2023 than in 2010.

The survey classifies all time spent without anybody physically present as “time spent alone”. This can include time spent talking on the phone or video calls.

Time spent alone among young people increased slowly in the second half of the 2010s and then rose sharply during the COVID-19 pandemic. It hasn’t fallen back to earlier levels since then.

In absolute terms, young people spent around four hours alone per day in 2010. By 2023, that number had grown to six hours per day.

Although all Americans spend more time alone, the increase is much smaller for older age groups. Those aged 30 to 44 spend about 20% more time alone now than in 2010, while for people 45 and older, the increase is about 10%.

While time alone can help with rest and personal reflection, it can also lead to loneliness and declining well-being. As time spent alone has increased, young people’s time with family, and even more so with friends, has decreased.

Our World in Data is a UK-based non-profit organization that publishes research and data to make progress against the world’s largest problems. You can find more of their data insights here.

This Week at Complexly

Why do British musicians sing with American accents? Will we ever have flying cars? What is weed doing to our brains? Akilah Hughes asked these questions and more on Ask Hank Anything!

You may have heard some pretty bold claims about xylitol, a sugar substitute that's in a lot of things. And while it's definitely bad for dogs, it's great for people, and there's a lot of research out there about some surprising ways xylitol can help our health.

Some Games to Play!

SpellCheck.xyc (by Answer in Progress)

4×3 (by Hank Green)

Download Gubbins on iOS or Android!

If you post your results on social media, we’d love it if you post a link for folks to subscribe to “We’re Here” (https://werehere.beehiiv.com/subscribe)

Our dream skills

In the last We’re Here, we asked for a skill you’d really like to learn. Thanks to everyone who sent us your dream skill! If you happen to be able to do one of these things, you get bragging rights for the rest of the day.

You made it to the end!

A while back, we asked for advice on how to make friends. Now, we’d love to know how you keep your friendships strong in spite of busy schedules, disagreements, and other life stuff. Tell us about the work you put in!

Send your friendship advice to [email protected].

We're Here is the newsletter of Nerdfighteria; the community of people that sprung up around Hank and John Green's YouTube videos. That community has many focuses and has spawned many projects but the overarching theme is that hopelessness is the wrong response to imperfection. What makes the world better is groups of people trying to understand and solve problems, and people can only do that for an extended period if they're having at least a little bit of fun.